Thursday, February 28, 2013

Donuts!

So apparently when I was sick, I posted about the mini donuts. Oops. Oh well...the more donut talk the better ;-)

A friend loaned me her mini donut pan a few weeks ago. I made THESE DONUTS. (click for link to recipe).

They were A-Stinking-Mazing.

Pic before glaze, apparently I don't have a glazed pic on the computer :(





Yesterday I got my own donut pan (regular size). I just got done baking a batch of cake donuts for tomorrow's breakfast. When the kids get home from school, we will chocolate glaze & sprinkle them. Sooooooooooooooo excited!

This is HUGE. They are Monster safe with his allergies & that's a big big deal for us! He gets to experience the joy of coffee & donuts now :-)



Anger.

Yesterday Car let the dogs out in the morning. Same as he does every week, on his assigned days. But yesterday, the baby jumped (well, climbed because she thinks she is a monkey) the fence & while opening the gate to let her back in, the big pooch got out as well & both ran off.

D-man went out in his truck to search. I got kids dressed & loaded up my car to go look as well. This is not a good way to start a school morning, especially when I had planned on not having to get off the couch (surgery issue recovery) and that D-man would take kiddos to school.

I wasn't so much upset, as it's not the first time they've run off, it's a small town, both are microchipped, and we could easily get them back usually within 20 min of take off.

Naynen on the other hand was angry with his brother for losing their dogs. I had to intercede as I overhead Naynen getting onto CarCar about it. I asked Naynen why he would talk to his brother that way, he said he was angry, I reminded him that we should be careful with our words & control our anger as Christians. He quickly calmed down & moved on with it. Dogs were found & brought home. All was good.

Except, I shouldn't have given Naynen the lecture. I am so full of anger at the moment, myself. I should have commiserated with him & let him know it's natural and we should have prayed about it together.

I didn't realize how angry I have been lately but really I am and I need to face the situations and then move on. I am struggling tho. I feel like the same sources continue to bring about these horrible feelings and I want to cut them out of my life. But how do you do that when they are "family" who live so near by that you are going to run into them often.

[I just edited out what I'm holding on to anger about because apparently, my feelings & the convictions of those feelings only matter if they don't step on the person's toes who brought them on. I purposely didn't use names and I haven't spoken of these situations before.]
[Edited again to say I realize it doesn't really matter that I list them because God already knows, but it's easier to pray for the situation in specifics than it is in generalized terms]

I am angry that people who don't care about consequences to their actions get what those of us who try to be responsible long for.....This just feels like some sick form of punishment.

I know it's not right to be angry about it. I know I need to forgive & move on. I am sick of the cycle. I want to continue on without those influences around to feed the negative into me.

I suppose tonight is a good night to study anger in our family bible reading time, isn't it?

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, without the crappy feelings.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

DIY Happiness.

This is it. I made a decision to make the house more of a home this year. That means one must actually decorate.

Living Room first. Hung up pictures, some pretty flower thing we got for our wedding, (I think that's where it came from), and more pictures. Moved some vinyl thingies over to a different wall (but some aren't sticking well, so I need to maybe re-invest)

Then I made a shelf. A large shelf. Out of a pallet. Now I need more picture frames to hang inside of it & fill it up.

I have one more DIY decoration to complete for the opposite wall, Curtains need hung when they get here, I need an area rug & coffee table & new tv stand....but the walls are almost done!!

Here's my before & after of the shelf my husband hates. (Too bad for him, I love it & it's up there for good now!) Oh, and excuse the mess, please.



Saturday, February 23, 2013

Love for a friend.

A re-post of the blog from one year ago today.
(Click the line above for link)

Please read it & send your thoughts and prayers to my dear friend. Although we have never met in real life, Amanda is a strong inspiration to me as a mom of a large family.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Having a church family ROCKS.

Just in the last few months, I felt a strong conviction to settle in to a new church home & embrace having church family, and strong Christian friends again.

This is a battle that has been going on for several years, one that I repeatedly put onhold when I would get discouraged by the places we visited.

I grew up in the Catholic church, and while I used to get so annoyed with my parents for "forcing" me to go to Mass on Sundays, and then Catechism on Wednesdays and whatever there was for special holidays, I love that church. I sometimes still find myself CRAVING the physical beauty of the Catholic Church....the stained glass, the artwork, sculptures and the classic hymns played from our upper balcony organ. The sights, the sounds, the familiarity of the words we would say every week, the prayers prayed and the sacraments that members carry out.

I still sneak off to mass once in a blue moon and just take it all in. I like to think it's a positive place to ponder the beauties God created in an ugly corrupt world.

I veered away from the teachings of the Catholic church, when I was a young teen and held a job at a local Baptist church in the nursery. I would work their nursery on Sunday evenings, and on a rotation on Wednesday nights. I fell in love with the people, mostly the children my own age & their families. I fell in love with their burning passion for Christ. I accepted salvation, and went through baptism in my high school years. I was strong with a force of strong peers. We were a group that I wish everyone could experience for themselves. Spending time with them were some of my best high school memories.  (Side note...2 of the boys have went on to become pastors, and one of the girls has been a missionary over seas for a few years and is now working in education with American missionaries over there)

I fell in & out of the church during my first marriage. There were several things I was having a hard time with in that church/amongst that particular group of people. All of the people I believe were well-intentioned believers who were comfortable where they were & were approaching people who struggled with their faith in a wrong manner. And since all my peers had left me, I felt alone. It was a small church, with mostly an older following, so I didn't have anyone I could really truly team up with.  I experienced a bit of negative there & it honestly made me turn away from churches, and put up a wall to keep my emotion & trust away from future adventures in finding a church. There was a lot of gossip (because one of my best guy friends would come to church & we would sit with one another, because I was going through a divorce & no one would bother to talk to me sincerely and find out why). They were rather adament that my newborn baby go to a nursery instead of in my Sunday school room, where I could feed him on demand. But the most offensive thing I incurred, and it happened repeatedly was that there was little hesitation in knocking down the Catholic Church & it's members and that struck me hard since I left the Catholic Church with no hard feelings at all.

I don't think anyone intentionally pushed those buttons for me, but rather it's just a series of battles and I had taken enough hits that I was ready to move on. And for the record, no one in that church ever bothered to reach out and ask why I quit attending. I think that reach out alone would make a world of difference in any church's growth.

Myself & the 3 kids bopped around through a few churches here & there, of varying denominations but I never could find one that just worked well for us. I still have a love of the Catholic Church but trying to battle mass with 3-4 children on my own every weekend was more than I could take. I would get nothing out of the services because all my focus was on keeping the children behaviors in check.

So about a year ago, I was still church hopping, and started in a local MOPS group. I was late to the meeting for some reason, and I had walked into the room, caught a seat and listened to the speaker who had started before my arrival. It was a guy talking about a Love & Respect couples class a local church was getting ready to start. I met some new people that day, and only attended 1 other MOPS meeting, because of timing and once because of a 911 ambulance trip with the Monster.

I convinced my husband to take this class with me. And he agreed, but he really didn't want to go. The church it was held at has an amazing childcare program and with Monster's medical needs, they never hesitated to take him, to learn about him and to adjust their system to make it safe for him.

Monster was getting ill a lot & had surgery in summer of last year, we slacked off at attendance and went along the fun ride of summer extra curricular activities.

After school started up & life slowed down, I started taking the kids to church again. But it was sporadic. We went back to the Love & Respect Class church, and I just continued to feel at peace when I was there. So funny that I happened to know several of the members, a handful were from that Baptist church I had last been a member of, and others were just people I knew from elsewhere.

Near Christmas, D-man made the choice to go to church with us, and we began doing more involved things at home. We started a bible reading plan with the kids, so we read together every evening that they are all here.  They love it & it has taught me so much more about the bible.

When D had been to church a couple of times, I told him how badly I felt we needed a church home & we quickly narrowed it down to the Catholic Church I grew up in or this church we were at now. The handling of Mason, the excitement of the kids, the amount I had learned in the short time of attendance there were confirmation that we had already found our spiritual home.

 In the past couple of months, we have started up the L&R class again, and the church's Next Steps class to learn more about their specific beliefs, their background, and to help put our services into effect. We also started in some small groups. Amazing little "churches within the church" if you will allow that phrase. A way to get personal connections amongst people when the attendance of a place is so much larger than you are used to.

Our small groups and our classmates and the staff of the church have been amazing to us. When I had surgery Feb 8th, they stepped it up. They are prayer warriors with passion. They did what they could to physically, in our day to day lives touch us & help where we needed it. They are the absolute best groups of people brought into our lives.

I honestly came to tears thinking about how much harder the past week would have been without them. Without a church to call home & it's people to help. So kind, so willing, so strong in their faith.
I am thankful that God has brought us to this church. I am proud to call it my church home.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The little things.

This week I've been forced to sit back and just watch a lot of what's going on around me.
Well, at least I was watching when I wasn't drugged up on strong pain meds.

There are several little things I want to share, but none were enough for their own post, so I will just throw them all together today.

1. Princess P has a very southern drawl in her talk. Growing up, I did too. Funny how that happened. She's only been "south" once and she was only a year old at the time and it was only for a few days!

2. Naynen thrives off of his intelligence. He is so smart. So gifted. And he lives to learn & to teach. And to make fun of me for not knowing how to find the perimeter and volume of things.

3. CarCar is the most sweet, caring child I have and it so often gets overlooked because he is so quiet. Sometimes I wish I could bump up his size a bit & make his voice carry through a room. He deserves to be noticed more.

4. Monster & CoCo Bean are giving me the chance to relive having the first two boys. They are so much like the first two were! They are best friends. They don't like to be separated. They do EVERYTHING together....which is why we have twice the mess in this house every day. And I love it. I love that they are so in love with one another.

5. You are never to old to call your mommy when you are sick. She was a lifesaver this week, getting my med refills, helping with the kids, all that jazz.

6. D-man has become an amazing person. Altho his job irritates me to no end, he was there as soon as he could be when I was having a hard recovery. And he wasn't just there. He was helping. He cooked for me, cleaned up after me & the kids, took care of the kids, and the pets and the house. Absolutely made my life easy this week!

Had to add...can't believe I left it out..

7. My church family is amazing. They have definitely lifted us up in prayer & helped make sure we were all taken care of this week. I would have been lost without them!!!!

It's been a long week already, and it's not even over. Happy Valentine's day everyone, enjoy the day with your loved ones!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Bye Bye Tonsils & Adenoids!

Do you ever think you know the prefect job for your child when they grow up?! Princess P's would be in the medical field. She would be the brutally honest dealer of bad news. She does it with such grace, and after she gets the facts out, she turns to trying to smooth over the emotions she brought out.

Friday morning P was the first one I woke up to get ready for school. Our early morning conversation went like this...

P: Is today the day you go to the hospital?
Me: Yes.
P: Are you getting your tonsils out?
Me: Yes.
P: It's going to hurt REALLY REALLY bad when you wake up.
Me: That's what I hear.
P: Mia told me so.
Me: Uh-huh.
P: They are going to use a needle & it's going to feel like they are trying to take your brains out.
Me: (I couldn't even respond, it was before 6:30am, and I wasn't allowed coffee)
P: But they won't really take your brains out. I promise.

Now in fairness to the cute little girl, she had no clue I was having panic attacks the day before over this procedure. I don't do needles well, and I was terrified of the pain during recovery. All I had heard over & over again was how hard it was on adults.

I tried convincing myself that my Monster got his pain tolerance & ability to recover nearly instantly from me & I'd bounce right back just like he did last summer when he had his done. But I knew that wasn't likely to be the case at all.

Got the big kids to school, littles over to my parent's house & headed to the hospital. I cried on the way there. I was so scared. Checked in at 9:45am. And sat in a busy waiting area, in the only open areas, right in front of the coffee makers. Do you know what type of torture that is for a coffee addict who is allowed nothing pre-op?!?! I text my mother "waiting sucks". She responds "patience never was your thing"

Got called back for prep around 11. Cried walking back to my room. The nurse thought I was crazy. Told her IV pokes are not good, it has taken 5-6 sticks to get it the last several times I needed one. And there's a good chance that if I don't kick her while she was poking my arm, I would pass out.

Bless her heart. She offered to numb my arm first. No nurse has ever offered to numb it first. That was the best thing ever....although it still hurt & still took a long time because my veins roll away & I *almost* passed out, but I didnt! Small victories. (And she only had to prick me once!)

I text my mother. "I didn't pass out with the IV" She responds "because they already had you laying down"

Apparently my mom has been thru this with me a time or two. lol.

My husband came on back til they took me to surgery. Let me give a word of advice. If the anesthesiologist comes in & asks if you have any questions, just don't ask any, no matter how curious you are. At this point, the nurse had told me of her own adult tonsilectomy experience & how things would feel when I woke up (because I told her I was scared of pain & quick pain management) and then when I was bold enough to ask about the anasthesia, I wished I hadn't. Hearing about the breathing tube going down my throat did not help my fears calm at all.

I was assured the tube would go in after I was asleep & back out before I was awake. I was assured I would be given pain meds before I woke up as well & they would give me ice & drinks as soon as I woke.

Back to the OR I went. Then I was waking up. I'm a baby. A big baby. I didn't even wait to see if I could feel pain. As soon as I opened my eyes & saw a nurse right there, I asked for meds & a drink. They took good care of me. We hung out for a couple of hours to make sure there wasn't bleeding & then went home.

Honestly, pain is not nearly what I expected. But I haven't lessened my pain meds any either. It's no worse than having strep throat tho, and I am excited to know I won't experience that anymore. The meds make me sleepy & a little loopy but I've had lots of help with the kids (they've stayed with grandparents all weekend) , and D-man has catered to me around here.

I'm hoping to get out to church in the morning, provided I get some sleep & don't have a large amount of pain in the mornings (mornings are worst because the throat dries out during sleep)

I'm definitely glad it's over & I hope no more surgeries are in my future!

2 1/2 years later

I am finally focusing on decorating the house we bought!

Took us forever to decide in the layout of rooms, but now that we got it,its time to make it feel like a home (and then hopefully move to another school district in the next couple of years lol)

I have a lot of wall space in the living room but one wall is planned to be knocked out to create a breakfast bar into the kitchen, and I didn't want to spend a fortune filling in the other walls. I hung up some pictures & wall decor we received as wedding gifts (nearly 2 years ago) on the hallway (visible from living area) and a small corner. I picked out drapes, but haven't received them yet...soon tho--at least I chose a pattern!

Then I focused on a large section of wall. I got a great idea from a Facebook friend a few months ago.

A great FREE idea. A pallet shelf. D-man has an endless supply of pallets from various sources. I had stain.

I takes D-man into helping me pull off some front planks, and I began to stain. As it sat in the basement for about a month, half stained, I decided I wasn't loving the color & abandoned ship.

Last month I came across some picture frames mother-in-law had given us (yay local auctions for cheap, nice frames!). I decided to use left over spray paint to customize them for the living room, afterall we have 5 children & only one collage frame in there...about time we show off the cute munchkins!

But I had nowhere to hang them. Ok, so I had a large wall, but it just wasn't do-able myself. Our walls are rock hard & I wanted something more.

Repainted the pallet, in left over spray paint coordinating colors with the frames. A few weeks later, convinced D-man to hang it & VOILA.

Free shelf. Full wall. Place for frames. (need more frames now!) And I absolutely love it!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

To laugh or cry.

Monster's allergy labs came back.

His egg allergy reaction is low enough they can start food challenge & *hopefully* we can reintroduce it to daily life.

But, they are booked up on food challenges for a year.

A YEAR.

Oh My. Oh My. Oh My.




Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Modesty.

I may possibly be the only mother who doesn't find the photo bombs of nursing babies to be fantastic.
In fact, I rather dislike them. And in my dislike for them, I'm beginning to see my attitude towards people changing simply based on these photos (of themselves or of photos shared by them on facebook)

Modesty is not a term I was concerned with in my free-spirited younger years. I generally kept clothes on, but low cut, cleavage showing were a non issue.

Then I became a mom (and got fat) and then I became a mom of a daughter. Now modesty is at the top of my vocabulary.

I breastfed 4 of the 5 children & I nursed in public....with a cover on. I don't care about the arguments about how natural it is, or human rights or whatever. I don't like to see your boobs, I don't like to see the FaceBook pictures you share of other people's boobs & I don't like my kids to see any of them either.

That was sort of a rant, but I knew if I posted it directly on FaceBook status, it would cause huge debate & I'm not staying up late enough for that tonight.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Donuts are for EVERYONE!

Food allergies stink.
Monster hasn't gotten to indulge in the sweet greatness of donuts because of the allergies......not until yesterday that is.

I found a dairy free, egg free super easy, full of yummies recipe & I made it. I made lots of them. 3 batches to be exact. Using ONE single mini donut pan (that I borrowed from a friend).

Do you know how long it takes to make 84 mini donuts with one pan?!?! Considering they cook for about 15 min, and then cool in the pan for 10 min, it takes seemingly FOREVER.

They were totally worth wasting the day away :-)

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH GLAZED DONUTS