Abandoned

Funny. I titled this blog post well over a week ago & never wrote a single word.

I stil know exactly what my thoughts were when I  started it though. 

That same night, I text my mentor. A lady from a mom's group put together by a local church.

I told her that I felt like God had abandoned me.

This past week has been an emotional  roller coaster.  I did feel abandoned & even unloved by the one who was supposed  to be there for every  hard part of my life.

And then a day later, I was seeing His signs and making sense of his plans and I  was at peace with all the bad news I was facing. 

Now I sit in am exam room, alone. In silence. Awaiting confirmation  on a blood draw saying there is nothing wrong with me infection  wise, but rather we need to treat & see if it's an awful nerve issue that has been coined as the suicide disease.

Talk about feeling abandoned! I thought it was bad last week?!

Honestly, I don't even feel abandoned  at this point but I am terrified! Absolutely  positively  afraid. 

I need prayers, please. It's going to be a long night and there's another appointment  in the morning and I am exhausted and the pain is crazy and I  just want to stop feeling like half my face is broken :(